


I Never Thought That I Was So Blind

by brokenhighways



Series: babysitter!verse [2]
Category: CW RPS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-18
Updated: 2011-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-18 08:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen let’s his fears break up his and Jared’s relationship before it’s even started. Will he earn to not let his fears run is life or is it too late for him and Jared?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Thought That I Was So Blind

Now that he and Jared are officially “dating” Jensen figures that things will be pretty much the way it was before except now he gets to make out with Jared instead of hanging out with him on the couch as 'friends'. Jared still looks after Jessie and Jensen still works insane hours and nothing really changes. It takes him two weeks to realise that he and Jared haven’t even been out on a date yet. Not that Jensen has the slightest clue on how to date someone. Plus he still has to explain to Jessie that Jared is not just her babysitter anymore. Though the more he thinks about the more he realises that he doesn’t think that he can date Jared while he’s paying him at the same time. It feels kind of skeevy and Jensen doesn’t really know what to do about it.

“Fire him,” Chris says as he flops down onto Jensen’s couch and Jensen idly wonders why he’s even friends with him, “If he really loves you then he’ll understand”. Jensen has to admit that it makes sense to fire Jared but he just doesn’t think he can do it. Besides, what if Jared really needs the money?

“He doesn’t,” Chris says and Jensen frowns, how the hell does Chris know?

“How do you know?” he asks and Chris turns away from the TV screen to give Jensen an incredulous look, “He teaches night classes at the community college Jensen...” and Jensen purses his lips as he tries to remember if Jared ever told him this while  
Chris just looks at him as if he’s a lost case. Jensen frowns as he thinks about what he really knows about Jared. He knows what Jared has told him but he doesn’t really know (okay, so maybe he doesn’t remember!) a lot about Jared’s life apart from the fact that his criminal record is clean. He probably has all the information down on file somewhere from when he was hiring babysitters but Jensen reckons that would count as cheating somehow.

“Why don’t you take him out somewhere and play a little game where one of you tells one something about the other and then vice versa..” Chris suggests and Jensen tilts his head to one side and asks,

“Has that ever worked for you?” Chris shrugs,

“Never tried it,” Jensen throws a cushion at him in mock disgust as he huffs and sinks back into the couch. He sits up soon after once he hears quiet footsteps coming from the stairs and he looks up to see Jessie slowly making her way down. Jensen gets up and swoops her into his arms before she falls or something and yes, maybe he’s just being an overbearing father but hey, that’s what he’s there for.

“What’s wrong honey?” he asks as he settles back down on the couch, poking Chris who quickly changes the channel from some wrestling show to some sort of cooking show. Jensen’s pretty sure that Chris watches his TV more than he does.

“Where’s Jared?” she asks and Jensen smiles at her and says,

“He went home after he said goodnight to you” and he’s momentarily amused when she pouts at him,

“How come he doesn’t live here?” she asks as if it’s that simple but Jensen finds that he can’t answer her, “Uncle Chris said that now you and Jared were boyfriends he’d be here more” Jensen scowls at Chris who is suddenly very interested in the stupid cooking show.

“Really? Chris, if you think he should move in why didn’t you say so to me” he says angrily because he’s kind of pissed off that he couldn’t tell Jessie himself, he’s supposed to be the one to tell her important things like that. Not Chris, even if he means well.

“Would you have listened to me?” Chris asks and Jensen has to concede defeat there. But even so he’s wary of Jared actually moving in. What if something happens – what if they break up? It wouldn’t be fair on Jessie if Jared moved in and then one day he wasn’t here anymore.

~*~*~

Jared invites Jensen over to his place for dinner with his best friend Chad as well as Milo. Jensen’s never actually met Chad before and he’s kind of worried. He still remembers the third degree Jared got back when he first started looking after Jessie courtesy of Chris. He’s pretty sure that Jared is still scared of him.

“Wear the green shirt, Daddy” Jessie says from her position on his bed and he’s pretty sure that she has an exasperated look on her face – he’s changed his shirt more than three times now. He takes pity on her and puts the green shirt back on. Once he’s done he picks her up and makes his way downstairs. On the way she snuggles close into his chest and says,

“When’s Jared going to live here?” and Jensen tenses slightly. Chris, you ass, he thinks as he pulls a face. It’s not that he doesn’t want Jared here it’s just that...he wants them to have a chance on their own. He needs to make sure that Jared doesn’t want him simply because of Jessie, because he knows how much Jared loves her. Jensen just doesn’t know how much Jared loves him and up until a few weeks ago Jared had been pretty oblivious, sort of.

~*~*

Jared is bouncing when he opens the door and Jensen can’t resist the grin that forms on his face. Jared wraps his giant arms around him and gives him a quick peck on the lips and Jensen briefly wonders if they have time to fool around before they eat.

“Hey” Jared says once he’s finally extracted himself from Jensen.

“Hi,” Jensen says, “You going to let me in?” and Jared blushes as he tousles his hair unconsciously and steps back allowing Jensen to enter his apartment, and really Jared is just too adorable for his own good.  
Milo nods at him when he enters the front room but he’s occupied with his phone so he doesn’t say much. On the couch next to him is who Jensen assumes is Chad, Chad is squinting up at him and Jensen isn’t really sure if it’s a friendly squint or a who-the-fuck-are-you squint. He just goes with it though when Jared introduces them, and he briefly wonders how long it’ll be until he gets the you-hurt-him-and-I’ll-kill-you-speech.

Dinner turns out to be...pizza. Jensen just quirks an eyebrow at the boxes on the table and he sees that Jared has a sheepish look on his face.

“He made this weird stuff that smelt like a gym locker room, for the sake of everybody, I had to get rid of it” Milo explains and Jensen just laughs. He doesn’t find it all that funny because what if he asks Jared to move in with him and Jared offers to cook and accidentally poisons them all? That wouldn’t be good.

Two hours later Jared is tipsy and Jensen is pretty sure that he hates Chad. He’s on his way back from the john when he bumps into Chad who motions for him to stop. Jensen finds himself getting irritated even though Chad hasn’t done anything. Yet.  
“So what are your intentions towards my boy?” Chad asks and Jensen just kind of stares at him, Chad rolls his eyes and says, “I’ll just cut to the chase then, if you’re messing him about then you better end it now because if you hurt him, I will end you” Jensen wonders if he’s supposed to feel threatened by Chad’s warning but he just nods and walks back into the front room where Jared is sprawled out on the sofa. He opens his mouth to say something about Jared moving in but something entirely different comes  
out.

~*~*~

“So you fired him,” Chris says slowly and Jensen nods, “And then...you broke up with him?” Jensen just nods again as Chris just glares at him.  
“You’re an idiot,” is all he says before he hangs up on Jensen. Jensen just sighs deeply as he spins around slowly in his office chair. He hasn’t got another patient for the next twenty minutes so he’s just killing time. He picks up his phone idly before he remembers that he can’t text or call Jared because he broke up with him. Jensen feels like an ass for what he’s done but he believes that it’s for the best. So yeah, he’s hopelessly in love with Jared, but he has to be practical. Jared is young and has his entire life ahead of him; he doesn’t need to be tied down by Jensen. It’s just...Jensen can’t help feel as though he’s made a huge mistake. He’s been haunted by the broken look on Jared’s face as he’d told him that he didn’t think that they were working out.  
The door opens and the receptionist announces that his next patient is five minutes early, Jensen tells her to let them in, because it’s not like he doing anything except rehashing his thoughts from the past two days. He hears the handle turn and plasters on a fake smile as he looks up expectantly. What he doesn’t expect to see is Chad standing in his doorway with a blank expression on his face.

Shit.

“Is this the part where you end me?” Jensen says snidely as Chad starts to squint at him. Jensen watches him squint for a while before he frowns and says,

“What are you doing?”

“I’m psycho-analysing you” Chad says and Jensen starts to laugh before Chad’s glare shuts him up.

“You’re psycho-analysing me? You can see how I’m having trouble taking you seriously can’t you?” Jensen asks.

“Hey, I resent that statement!” Chad protests,” I majored in Psychology actually which is so not the point of me being here” and he  
reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pile of used tissues and throws them at Jensen. Jensen jerks backwards with a look of disgust on his face,

“Dude, what the hell?” he says in an irritated tone, as he brushes his shirt with his hands,

“That’s all of the tissues that Jared has cried all over,” Chad says in a cold voice and Jensen at least has the decency to look down at the pile on his lap, “Seriously, why did you break up with him? Was it because of what I said? Because Jared’s my boy, you know? I’m always going to have his back” Jensen looks up when he hears the guilty tone in Chad’s voice and not for the first time he wonders why he always has to be a complete idiot.

“No...It wasn’t because of what you said...just...look I’m doing Jared a favour, he’s young you know? He doesn’t need me tying him down”

“My god, you’re such a freaking girl, you think Jared cares about any of that? He knows about your responsibilities, he knows you, why would any of this start to bother him now?” Chad argues and Jensen can’t think of a response.

“Now, before you came over, Chris warned me that you might pull something like this so I won’t kill you this time” Chad carries on and Jensen raises an eyebrow,

“How do you know Chris? Anything he’s told you it’s all lies” he replies quickly and Chad rolls his eyes,

“He’s a friend of Jared’s and therefore one of mine...this is the mushiest thing I’m ever going to say but you need to wake up Jensen and see that you fit in Jared’s life just as perfectly as he fits into yours” Chad answers, “And you should ask him to move in with you just so I never have to put up with his caveman snoring ever again”

“So you think that he’ll forgive me?” Jensen asks trying to mask the hopeful look on his face.

“Maybe you should try and find out,” Chad says, “Just don’t screw it up”.

~*~*~

Jensen finally manages to get Chris to talk to him once he gets back from work. Although, Jensen supposes that it’s only because Chris has been looking after Jessie, seeing as how Jensen fired Jared.

“Hey,” Jensen says after he gets back downstairs, “Thanks for looking after her even though because of you she’s still not talking to me” Chris just smirks at him. Jensen briefly wonders (not for the first time) why he's friends with someone that takes pleasure in telling his kid how much of an idiot he can be.

“So what’s the plan?” Chris asks, “You said you had one”

“I lied,” Jensen says as he rubs a hand over his face, “I’m screwed...he’s never going to take me back is he?”

“Well if he had any sense he wouldn’t” Chris said, “But both are idiots, so he probably will”

“Hey don’t call him that” Jensen says his voice serious all of a sudden and Chris turns to look at him.

“Surprise him,” is all he says and Jensen throws him a questioning look, “Show him how much he means to you by surprising him, there must be something that he wants? Or hell, maybe you’ll finally believe that he only ever wanted you”  
Jensen doesn’t know why but it hurts to hear Chris say that.

~*~*~

Over the next few days Jensen thinks long and hard about how he’s going to convince Jared that he really does want this to work. He tries to remember all the things that he and Jared have talked about and he finds that all he does is remember. Jensen can’t even believe that he thought about giving up what they had because of a couple of unfounded fears that he’d had. He and Jared fit before they fell in love and now....now they can be so much more. He tries calling Jared but there’s no answer and Jensen just throws himself into his plan.

So when the knock on his door comes Jensen is pretty nervous. He’s not sure why Jared thinks he’s here because he’d asked Chad of all people to figure out a way to get Jared over to his house. Chris tried earlier but it turns out the bastard had been sneaking Jessie to Jared’s anyway so “Jessie misses you” didn’t really work. Jensen runs a hand through his hair and he takes a deep breath before he goes over to the door and opens it. He feels his heart rate speed up when he sees Jared standing in the doorway and he finds that he can’t really speak.

“Jared...” he whispers and Jared smiles at him sadly, it’s not his usual smile...the one the brightens up the whole atmosphere and fills Jensen with warmth and Jensen feels a pang on guilt in his chest because he knows that he’s the reason behind the lingering sadness in Jared’s eyes.

“Chad said that you wanted to settle up my last payment or something, I tried to bribe him to come and do it for me but he wouldn’t budge” he says his voice quieter than it normally is. Jensen glances at him for a moment before he makes his decision. He’d had this whole speech planned out but it can wait, all he wants is to see Jared smile again. He turns his head slightly and whistles and soon the hallway is filled with two small puppies that make a beeline for Jared as soon as they spot him. Jared’s face lights up in surprise and he grins as he kneels down to their level and lets both puppies bound into his arms.

“They’re called Sadie and Harley” Jensen says as he watches the scene in front of him with a fond look in his eyes.

“You remembered,” Jared says softly as he pets the dogs, “Though I remember saying that it was just a stupid dream”

“What if I want to make all of your stupid dreams come true” Jensen says hopefully and Jared shoots him a look, his face unreadable, “I didn’t mean to break up with you...I was just scared”

“You think that I’m not?” Jared says and Jensen tries not to perk up at the fact Jared is referring to them in present tense, “But the whole point of having a relationship Jensen, is to talk about things!” Jensen looks down as he wonders if it’s too late to starting praying that Jared forgives him.

“So what happens now?” Jared says with a heavy sigh and Jensen looks up and he doesn’t even blink,

“Move in with me?” he asks in a soft voice and all of a sudden it’s like he can’t breathe. It’s as if everything he wants is right there in front of him.

Hell, it is right there in front of him.

“I’m not going to say yes...” Jared says and Jensen feels his heart breaking into a million pieces and scattering across the floor – and okay maybe he’s being a bit overdramatic. “But I’m not saying no” Jared finishes and Jensen forgets all of his reservations and he reaches out and grabs Jared’s hand.

“So is that a maybe?” he asks with a small smile on his face and Jared laughs and shakes his head,

“It’s a you have a lot to make up for but I’m willing to give you a chance to prove to me that you’re in this for long haul, “Jared says, “And I’ll think about it”

“Really?” Jensen says in a teasing tone, “Even after I bought you puppies, I was kind of expecting you to stick around and look after them”

“Well I’m sure you’re my than capable of looking after my babies when their Daddy isn’t here” Jared says as he clasps Jensen’s other hand with his free hand,

“But for now we have some serious making up to do”

 **Fin.**  
  
 

  



End file.
